got me thinking

Parents just signed for a new car.
Cerato Forte. Spicy Red some more.
All for me...
I should be happy. I am happy.
But it got me thinking about the all great things happening in my life right now.
Do I deserve all this?
Do the people who make me happy deserve what I'm giving back to them?
Sometimes I wish I was like
"fuck care la I'm getting what I want why bother about the world" or
"as long as im happy thats all that matters"
Selfish, I know. Who wouldn't want to be.
But that's just not me. That evil me.

Anyway April will be the month.
And from now till April there will be a drastic change in me.
Might as well start now. Start slowly. Know what I'm sayin.
You've tried before but failed so learn from it and get it right this time.